The other weekend, I was coaching a 14s volleyball player in a private (on-court) training session and I noticed something that comes up all the time with young athletes.
After a few mistakes, she started having a lot less fun.
Her body language changed. Her smile disappeared. Her confidence dropped. And the more frustrated she got, the harder it became for her to play well.
So I paused the lesson and said something important:
“When you’re training, it’s essential that you’re having at least a little bit of fun. It’s really hard to improve, believe in yourself, or make progress when you’re not.”
I pulled her aside and explained that I do a lot of mindset coaching for athletes, and this is one of the biggest lessons I teach.
When you go into a practice, private lesson, or game and you realize you’re no longer having fun because you’re not playing as well as you want to, you have to find something—anything—to bring a small amount of joy or positivity back online.
That might look like:
- Smiling at something small
- Reminding yourself, “I have a healthy, capable body that allows me to play”
- Thinking about the teammates you enjoy being around
- Remembering the first time you picked up a volleyball and how excited you felt
Because here’s what most athletes don’t realize:
There Is a Constant Feedback Loop Between Your Brain and Body
When your body starts making mistakes, your brain often jumps to thoughts like:
- “I’m not good enough”
- “I can’t do this”
- “I’m failing”
Once your brain believes those thoughts, your body responds by tightening up.
And a tense body cannot perform well.
Athletes play their best when they are loose, confident, present, and enjoying themselves—even when mistakes happen.
But when frustration takes over, confidence drops, the smile disappears, and the mind-body connection starts working against you instead of for you.
How to Reset the Mind-Body Feedback Loop During Practice or Games
The next time you’re in a practice, private lesson, or competition and you start making mistakes, try this:
- Notice the shift in your mood and body
- Physically shake it out (roll your shoulders, bounce on your toes, take a deep breath)
- Say something supportive to yourself like:
“It’s okay that I made a mistake. I’m going to keep going.”
This simple reset helps interrupt the negative feedback loop between your brain and body.
Over time, this builds:
- Better emotional regulation
- Stronger confidence
- More consistency in performance
- A deeper love and passion for the game
You don’t have to be perfect to play well.
You just have to stay connected to joy, belief, and trust in yourself…even when things aren’t going exactly how you planned.